I am shaken by this digital barrage of simulated forces – sine waves, making it harder to sustain a high or a normal for that case. I have been shaken by this unfiltered mess of arrivals!
One moment of tranquility, sometimes, makes me feel normal as if I finally belong somewhere. This sense of belonging is important though. There is no meaning to whatever we do if we don’t have a place to call home, and home is where you belong.
We are set within our limits by default – this innate will to not break out is essential. Otherwise, every other human is super in her own form and the whole concept of elevation is rendered baseless. Setting up a new normal is not what should be ideal.
An urge to wish at 11:11 is human?
We need change for sure, but succumbing to urges and desires, although truly human, is selfish and doesn’t help with answers in any way.
These highs and lows and the utter frequency of them are de-sensualizing me to the idea of life. What is a sine wave but a line from a grander perspective?
But we don't live life from such a broader perspective. The next moment, the current satisfaction, the new formation, are methods of a narrow perspective and a shallow life.
Maybe the reason I feel this shattering is that I am not so super I thought I was, maybe I am not the hero of this story.
Who is the hero then? Is there even a story?
All of this is in my head, I am sure of that, but I am having a difficult time understanding the line between reality and a perspective. What is reality but a perspective? Maybe I am losing my mind?
But isn’t everybody?
I am shaken by this barrage of digital simulations, these ions projecting feelings, faking humanity, how human can the machine get? I have a deeper relationship with what I see through this little window than any other human alive. It is deep!
Where do I draw the line? I am confused? Is this the true meaning – this struggle? I don’t know and I don’t think I wanna know.
I am just done with these successes of ups and downs. They are drowning me to a new normal and as I lose the sensitivity, I succumb to the metaphorical death of substance.