it is difficult to pin point what you feel sometimes and some other times you know exactly what you want, you know the plan, you know the drill, you just know it.
it is not on the paper, neither materialised in one form or other, but it is real and as crisp as the freshly processed potato chip.
what is really on my mind.
i have got plans and iterations of making them come true. but where do i get the will from. how do i generate it out of thin air. i am still in touch with what is and what was and what could be but regardless of all what i see and hear, i can find no way out.
this has got to be it.
this has got to be the phase where you know, you just know that it is the time. it is the time to unleash what has been given to you, what you were supposed to do if there exists some higher purpose. i don’t believe in purposes and meanings while all my waking life has been a search for the composition of what makes a meaning.
but what is on my mind. what am i really thinking.
has this got to do with the serenade of circumstances working in my favour, or am i delusional? i know not but i do know. i know that it will be alright no matter where i end up.
this, however, is a serious situation, critical for a man. the subtle nuance of knowing that it will work out puts you at ease, makes you comfortable and comfort is not what you should seek, it is the anticipation of one that makes it worthwhile.
this is on my mind – i have known too much or too little, either way i know nothing of meaning or altitude. but to keep yourself delusional, to keep your will averted and your presence felt is the essence of being alive in the twenty first century. it is a hard time, for people who think but it is also comical.
what is on my mind is what is not to be said. some things are meant to be kept unsaid, unacknowledged, for the fear of boredom of execution is real in some of us and i am no exception.
new music soon.